Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which some people treat as a warm-up for Christmas shopping. They stuff themselves with turkey, exchange a few pleasantries with family, and start spending. So, let’s talk about that.

It’s pretty common for someone who makes $50,000 a year to spend $7,000 on Christmas. Of course, they don’t spend $7,000 cash. They charge it to a credit card. So, they end up spending $14,000 when you include interest.

That annihilates their savings for the year. And then they wonder: “Why are we falling further behind?”

Overspending on Christmas is one of the reasons.

Be Generous

Don’t get me wrong, I love to give gifts. I might stop by the jewelry store and buy something for my wife in August, just to do it. But I de-emphasize Christmas and birthdays. It’s easy to be generous on special occasions—it’s much harder to be generous all year.

Take tipping, for example. I randomly give big tips—dropping a twenty in a tip jar is one of my favorite things to do. Those small gestures can really brighten someone’s day.

• As for family, gifts don’t need to be expensive to make an impact.

I had a cat named Otto for 15 years. He was the best cat of all time. The year he died, my wife gave me three framed pictures of him. It probably cost her $25, but it made me cry. It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received.

So really, you don’t need to spend $7,000 to brighten somebody’s world. Generosity is not about the money—it’s about the thought and care you put into a gift.

Be Selfish

If Christmas is a big deal in your house, then you have to manage expectations. Maybe you say, “You might only get two gifts this year.” Explain that you’re saving money or paying off debt. Whatever the reason, spell it out.

Keep in mind, if you give fewer or cheaper gifts, you are going to disappoint some people. And disappointing people is hard, especially little kids. But you have to do it anyway.

Frankly, you have to be “selfish.” I know that’s a dirty word. People don’t like to think of themselves as selfish. But if you’re suffocating under a mountain of debt, or struggling to pay your mortgage, or simply falling short of your savings goals, spending $7K on Christmas gifts is not going to help.

In fact, it’s going to make the problem worse. So, you need to act in your own interest and spend less on Christmas.

The kids really will be fine. They won’t need a lifetime of therapy just because you didn’t give them a new PlayStation 5. You can still give them something. I’m not suggesting you put coal in their stockings. But you should explain why they’re getting a little less this year. Just tell them the truth—you are digging yourself out of debt (or saving more) so that things are better next year.

Consider this—eliminating debt is one of the best gifts you can give your family. You will be a happier, less stressed person once you get off the credit merry-go-round and clear your debt for good. I’d like to help you with that—just click here to get started.

Sustainable Giving

A lot of people get in financial trouble precisely because they’re generous.

I have a family member who’s expected to buy plane tickets for a whole entourage when he travels. I don’t know where the expectation came from, but it’s there.

When you create an expectation like that, you risk letting people down. And no one likes letting people down, so they wind up paying for six plane tickets and six hotel rooms.

If you have eight figures in the bank, and that’s really how you want to spend it, fine. But very few people can sustain that level of giving. They’re better off saying no from the outset. Otherwise, they create a cycle of financial codependence that ultimately hurts everyone.

So be generous this Christmas, but not to a fault. Giving is much more enjoyable when you can afford the gifts.

Jared Dillian